I Missed You Jakensama
by Suisyo
Summary: Jaken irritates his Lord for the last time...or is it? Sesshoumaru is forced to contemplate his feelings...[oneshot]


**A/N:** Heh...this is a random one-shot I made months and months ago... I don't know exactly what I was thinking about when I wrote it but I guess I just wanted a silly scene of what takes place here...but it evolved into a more serious bittersweet piece. I am sick though, so I still find some humor in this.. Muuahhahahahahaha... ahem...cough

**Disclaimer**: I am obviously not Rumiko Takahashi, cuz if I was I'd be rich and have more talent...no these characters are property of hers and her affiliates, and how incredibly jealous I am of them all...pouts

**I Missed You Jaken-sama**

****

"Why, Sesshoumaru-sama! Why! How could you kill Jaken-sama!" Rin cried.

His back turned to her, he stayed silent.

"Why..." she now mumbled through sobs, "why...Jaken...sama..."

Sesshoumaru fought the urge to rub his temples. He could feel a headache slowly surfacing. His only reason for killing that insufferable demon was to shut his annoying trap. That and the small satisfaction he receieved from doing it.

But now Jaken's grating, irritating voice, was replaced by the high pitched wails and sobs of Rin.

He didn't understand why.

"Rin, " he paused, waiting for her response. She continued crying and sniffling, so he turned his head slowly, and just enough to look down at her with his usual stern indifference.

Red, watery eyes and a pitiful frown marred her usual sunny face. She turned her gaze from the halved-Jaken up to her Lord. Her bleary eyes searched his for the tiniest hint of remorse or regret.

She caught a brief flicker of something. She wasn't quite sure what it was, but she felt hopeful.

_Maybe he too missed Jaken-sama?_ She thought.

None of these emotions were what Sesshoumaru felt. He didn't miss Jaken, nor did he feel remorse. And the only regret he had was not ridding himself of both his ward and retainer a long time ago. They surely ruined his image.

And yet he did feel something...an emotion hedidn't want toopenly admit to himself, but was aware of it nonetheless.

_Guilt..._he thought, almost angry at the word..._but for what should I, Lord Sesshoumaru, feel guilt?_

More sniffles came from Rin. He looked at her again. She was no longer looking up at him expectantly, but instead had turned her gaze to the grass that she had entwined in her fingers and was nervously twisting and pulling. He could smell the saddness pour from her small body.

_How can a creature so small have so much emotion invested on one useless toad?_ He wondered.

He would have been fine to leave Jaken there in the grass as fertilizer, but she had to go and become attatched to him.

_Hmph...human emotions..._He thought_...such weaknesses are useless._

Sesshoumaru was brought out of his contemplations by a soft voice, speaking so low that if it wasn't for his inu-youkai sense of hearing he would have missed it.

Almost under her breath Rin mumbled..."I do not...want Jaken-sama...to die."Releasing sobs as she spoke.

Tired of all the tension and emotions flying around him, Sesshoumaru spoke. "Rin. There is no need for this outlandish display of tears. You know well enough that I always have Tenseiga. I do this regularly."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama, but it never stops making Rin sad. I do not like to see Jaken-sama dead!"

He looked away again, as if watching the forest, but there was nothing new. So instead he began wondering if life around a ruthless demon lord was unfit for the innocence and love that made up nearly all of Rin's being. Rin could have a better life living amongst those of her kind. But, would it be safer? Couldhe be guaranteed that no harm come to her? But he knew the answer to those questions.

Without looking back, Sesshoumaru lay his hand on the hilt of his sword, finalizing his decision, he tightened his grip and pulled Tenseiga from its sheath. The unmistakable _chink_ sound, that would make all, who were wise, run for their lives, echoed through the quiet meadow. With a precision that only he possessed, he made a single, smooth slicing motion over the toad demon's remains.

By the time he had returned his sword to its sheath, the happy squeels of Rin could be heard along with the shrill cries of a frightened and confused Jaken. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin cried with delight.

"Wha-?" Is all Jaken could muster, before turning to his Lord to thank him for his mercy. But no coherent words were uttered as Jaken sputtered out noises in the direction of the receeding figure of his Lord.

Without a word or a glance, Sesshoumaru had walked off in the direction of the forest, leaving his retainer to care for his naive ward, whom was already skipping merrily around the field collecting flowers to don Jaken's head with.

Finally finding his voice Jaken called after his Lord, "Sesshoumaru-sama! Wait! Where are you go...ing...?" He trailed off realizing that his Lord had already vanished into the forest. Defeated, Jaken plopped down where he stood awaiting the barrage of questions and flowers that were now an inevitable part of his life.

Rin was oblivious to the now sour mood of Jaken and even more in the dark about the epiphany her Lord had, just moments ago. An epiphany that would change his life forever, and which had him so frustrated, he was waging an inner battle, a battle he knew he would lose.

It was too late to fight it. It had already snuck its way in when he wasn't expecting it. And now he had to accept it and learn to live with this new realization, with this new...emotion...Sesshoumaru had never fathered his own blood-child, but Rin was a child, and as long as she wanted to stay with him she was his. It was close enough, he surmised.

_Emotions..._, he thought, disgusted with the word, _what was that emotion? The one humans are always so fond of..._

_...ahhh, yes, that's what it was called...love._


End file.
